A Fatal Mistake To Always Avoid

I’d like to share a story with you. It’s long, but worth it…

In 1996 I was a sophomore at the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY. I was studying operatic voice. It was an amazing experience. I was surrounded by some of the most amazing musicians in the world. There were people there from every walk of life and just about every country on earth.

It was a real eye-opener for a country boy from Coldwater, Mississippi whose father was in construction. These kid’s parents were all musicians. They had all formal training since they were 3.

They were miles ahead of me before they even started school. So, I had to kind of play it safe. Not show my ignorance. Not let everyone know that while they had were learning Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto #3 at the age of 10, I was out riding a four-wheeler in the Mississippi mud.

But after a while it began to get to me… I started to believe that I didn’t stack up. I really wasn’t “worthy” of being there. That it was somehow a mistake that I had gotten in this prestigious music school. Then a funny thing happened…

It was a blistering, cold winter that year. The wind chill was -30F. Snow blowing sideways so hard, that you literally could not open your eyes. You could practically lean into the wind and it would hold you up.

And low and behold, Steve Vai came to play at our school. (For those of you who don’t know… Steve Vai, whether you like his music or not, is unarguably one of the most talented “rocker” style guitarist around. He’s a virtuoso guitarist, lots of instrumental stuff. Mega talented.)

It was a weird venue. He played in the Eastman Theater. Which was strange because it was normally reserved for “real” concerts: Brahms’ Requiem, Verdi’s Otello, Piano Concerto’s. I remember seeing Vai up on the concert-hall stage. His band all around him. It just seem strange seeing this rocker playing in a concert hall that had a chandelier worth $30,0000.

Anyway, he played a great gig. Though there was hardly anyone there. The hall was practically empty. Maybe 100 people showed up to see this guy. Not many people even knew who he was. After the show, my friend, Matt, walked up to Vai and congradulated him on a great show and invited to buy him a cup of coffee.

At the crowded, little coffee shop across the street from the hall, Matt, a classical guitar major there at Eastman, sat and picked Vai’s brain for a couple of hours. Vai was extremely humble. In fact, after talking to him for those brief moments, Matt walked away a changed person. Turns out that Vai had told Matt that he wasn’t “worthy” (or something to that effect).

He insisted that we (those of us attending “classical,” conservatory) were the “real” musicians. He didn’t “deserve” to play for us conservatory types. Strangely enough, it seemed like he was intimidated.

Now, I wasn’t there. I didn’t hear those words come from his mouth. In fact, it was a private conversation that Matt had with him. So, I can’t personally vouch that every word is true.

But, then again, I have no reason to doubt what Matt had said… he was a good friend and quite trustworthy. So, what the heck is the point? Good question. The point is you can NEVER, ever compare yourself to other people. Just don’t do it. This is such an important point, I’m going to say it again…

NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF AND YOUR ABILITIES TO OTHERS!

Why? Because there will ALWAYS be someone out there who’s faster, better, quicker, smoother, more clever, writes songs better, has more finesse, etc. Always. Always. Always.

You’ve got to focus on what you do. And forget what other people think. Don’t get caught up in it. It’s just stupid. You will wear yourself out. You will NOT be happy. You will NOT be a better musician for it. You will, in fact, go backwards. You’ll burn out. You’ll get frustrated.

That experience taught me to snap out of it. To completely focus my energy, not on how I compared to other musicians, but on how I was doing… how I was doing this week as compared to last week. How I was going to be better today than I was yesterday. How I could maximize my abilities vs. how I stacked up against the next guy.

It can be blinding. Damaging. Dangerous. So, I swore not to do it any more. And I don’t. As soon as I start to even think about how much better some person is than me, I stop. I remind myself that no matter how good you are… even if you’re Steve Vai, there will always be people who are better.

The point is… make good music. Progress in your own right. In your own style. Focus on accomplishing YOUR goals as a guitarist. Maybe your goal is to be the next Steve Vai. Or maybe it’s just to learn how to play three chords for your Wednesday night church service. Maybe you decided to play guitar so you watch less TV. (Which we all could probably use less of.)

Whatever your motive, keep it pure. Keep it true. Keep it focused. Don’t get off on the ugly road of comparing yourself to other musicians. It’s a dead end. Keep up the good work.

Fight the good fight.

Until next time…

Cheers,


Dan Denley

About the Author: Dan Denley began playing guitar in 1989 at the age of 14. Mr. Denley is a self-taught guitarist and classically trained musician. After graduating with honors from the Scheidt School of Music (University of Memphis) with a bachelors degree in Music History, he created the “Amazing Guitar Secrets” course for learning guitar, which is considered by many to be complete and authoritative. You can learn more about how YOU can become of his successful students at http://www.amazingguitarsecrets.com/special/5

This entry was posted on Friday, January 27th, 2006 at 4:57 pm and is filed under AmazingGuitarSecrets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.